Joy, Thy Name is Amara

Having a baby has its share of trials and joys. The minuses – sleeplessness, lack of time for yourself, high costs of bringing up a child, losing your figure, etc.  Yet, ultimately you are assured that it’s all worth it.

At 10 months old going on 11, Amara used to go to sleep if I just place her in bed. Nowadays, suddenly it’s a struggle to get her to sleep. She won’t go to sleep unless I rock her. When I’m tired from a day’s work, it seemingly takes forever to rock her to sleep. If I don’t rock her, there will be endless crying until she coughs, then endless coughing unless she throws up. That’s the style of most kids in getting what they want, in Amara’s case not wanting to go to sleep yet. But some parents, like me , know better, so no amount of crying, coughing or throwing up will earn her the coveted extended wake time.  

Despite all the trouble she causes me, Amara is so sweet. What qualifies her for the sweetness and spice composition of little girls is the way she cuddles next to me in her sleep. Once I do get her to sleep, it’s hard for me to stop cuddling her. So it’s just nice that she, in turn, wouldn’t let go. She does toss and turn but she will always have some part of her body touching mine.

What she does is use me for her pillow. It comes with accompanying aches and pains. Yesterday I woke up with a stiff neck because I can’t move while she is resting over me. If I move, she will toss and turn and sometimes it wakes her up. Not getting up even if I need to makes me a candidate for kidney disease, but the things we’d do for love… A few days ago I had a little bruising on my lip because from sitting down, she will suddenly flop backward in a free fall trying to find a comfortable position to sleep. It resulted to her head banging on my lip, making it also painful for her that she cried. At times, she flops backward on my solar plexus or at my breasts and it knocks my breath off. If I place a pillow over me as shield to cushion her free falling, it defeats the purpose of her having a part of her body touching mine.

Regardless of the aches and pains, this is one ritual I wouldn’t go without now. Sometimes, she wouldn’t even sleep when I go home late from meeting friends. I can’t imagine my nights now without Amara.


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