I’m trying my darnedest to move on… You know that saying that when a tree is fruitful, that is when it is stoned? Or something to that effect… My resolve is being tested by events. I can’t help but feel pain. If it’s only just about me, I can handle it. But being a mom complicates things.
I know mothers out there can relate. When you see your child being held at disadvantage, a mother can’t help but be the one to react strongly. Actually, I am continually being enraged by the disregard. When would I stop feeling this way? I wonder. Hopefully, I’ll get used to it and be desensitized. After all, I can give all the love and care Amara deserves to receive. It’s just that I cannot be a father to her.
It hurts when you see her trying to cling on to her uncles and other male relatives and friends, starved of a father’s attention. But who needs a father who just puts up a front in public but cannot hold on to it when circumstances really call for it? Or when gimmick with friends call? Or when some other self-centered need surfaces?
In a public event, he was the very gracious and attentive host and loving and caring father. But it ended the minute the party ended. He wasn’t even concerned enough to fetch the birthday celebrant from home and bring her to the venue. He didn’t even spare the time to bring her home afterwards, to spend some private time with her on her first birthday.
Through the grace of God, hopefully, Amara will get the love and attention from a father sometime soon. And through God’s justice, unworthy fathers will get what they deserve.
God’s Word for today comforts…
My son, when you come to serve the LORD,
stand in justice and fear,
prepare yourself for trials.
Be sincere of heart and steadfast,
incline your ear and receive the word of understanding,
undisturbed in time of adversity.
Wait on God, with patience, cling to him, forsake him not;
thus will you be wise in all your ways.
Accept whatever befalls you,
when sorrowful, be steadfast,
and in crushing misfortune be patient;
For in fire gold and silver are tested,
and worthy people in the crucible of humiliation.
Trust God and God will help you;
trust in him, and he will direct your way;
keep his fear and grow old therein.
You who fear the LORD, wait for his mercy,
turn not away lest you fall.
You who fear the LORD, trust him,
and your reward will not be lost.
You who fear the LORD, hope for good things,
for lasting joy and mercy.
You who fear the LORD, love him,
and your hearts will be enlightened.
Study the generations long past and understand;
has anyone hoped in the LORD and been disappointed?
Has anyone persevered in his commandments and been forsaken?
Has anyone called upon him and been rebuffed?
Compassionate and merciful is the LORD;
he forgives sins, he saves in time of trouble
and he is a protector to all who seek him in truth.
Taking a child, he placed it in their midst,
and putting his arms around it, he said to them,
“Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me;
and whoever receives me,
receives not me but the One who sent me.”