If only people who did wrong were so easy to see the error of their ways and repent…
I suffered a great blow when the person with whom I made a commitment cheated on me. It’s difficult to move on from that painful experience. I feel that I will only gain peace if that person truly repented, asked for forgiveness and reformed his ways.
He actually asked for forgiveness two months ago. But the conversion that should accompany true repentance is not apparent to me. I have no way of knowing if he truly feels sorry for what he had done. He lied to me so many times that now, I can no longer tell if he’s telling the truth or just saying the things he knows I want to hear from him. He has been so deceptive that now I do not know if he is putting up an act to continue to mislead me.
For me, actions should match words. It is so easy to say things while meaning another. It’s easy to utter words and not produce equivalent action to support them. This must be in relation to Thomas the Apostle’s philosophy, “To see is to believe.” I needed to see this person do things that will convey the message that he has truly recognized the error of his ways and try to do some reparation. But just two weeks ago, I was disappointed.
I am now in a dilemma. Contrary to my desire to be a genuine follower of Christ, I feel I am being judgmental. God’s Word teaches that people should be given a chance to turn a new leaf. Not necessarily to let him back into my life in the previous role he had in it, but since he is irrevocably a part of my life and I cannot do anything to change it, should I try at least to treat him as a brother, to give him the benefit of the doubt, if I am to be truly a Christian?
Since he is the father of my child, I would have wanted my daughter to have a father who would be a good example, who would be worthy of respect. One of my greatest desires is for my child to have her father love her more than anything or anyone, because that is what she deserves.
However much we want to help others, we cannot force another person. It’s regrettable that he tried to be a good Christian once but threw everything away. But only he can make the decision to return to God. Once again, the lesson in letting go and letting God. I hope for his sake that God touches his heart, that he opens his heart to God’s prodding. He already had an experience wherein I felt God was reminding him of His presence. I hope he won’t wait for another, harder blow to come before he really listens and returns to God.
“Lord, great and awesome God,
you who keep your merciful covenant toward those who love you
and observe your commandments!
We have sinned, been wicked and done evil;
we have rebelled and departed from your commandments and your laws.
We have not obeyed your servants the prophets,
who spoke in your name to our kings, our princes,
our fathers, and all the people of the land.
Justice, O Lord, is on your side;
we are shamefaced even to this day:
we, the men of Judah, the residents of Jerusalem,
and all Israel, near and far,
in all the countries to which you have scattered them
because of their treachery toward you.
O LORD, we are shamefaced, like our kings, our princes, and our fathers,
for having sinned against you.
But yours, O Lord, our God, are compassion and forgiveness!
Yet we rebelled against you
and paid no heed to your command, O LORD, our God,
to live by the law you gave us through your servants the prophets.”
R. (see 103:10a) Lord, do not deal with us according to our sins.
Remember not against us the iniquities of the past;
may your compassion quickly come to us,
for we are brought very low.
Help us, O God our savior,
because of the glory of your name;
Deliver us and pardon our sins
for your name’s sake.
Let the prisoners’ sighing come before you;
with your great power free those doomed to death.
Then we, your people and the sheep of your pasture,
will give thanks to you forever;
through all generations we will declare your praise.
Lk 6:36-38Reading II
1 Cor 6:13c-15a, 17-20Brothers and sisters:
The body is not for immorality, but for the Lord,
and the Lord is for the body;
God raised the Lord and will also raise us by his power.
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?
But whoever is joined to the Lord becomes one Spirit with him.
Every other sin a person commits is outside the body,
but the immoral person sins against his own body.
Do you not know that your body
is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you,
whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?
For you have been purchased at a price.
Therefore glorify God in your body.
Jesus said to his disciples:
“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
“Stop judging and you will not be judged.
Stop condemning and you will not be condemned.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Give and gifts will be given to you;
a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing,
will be poured into your lap.
For the measure with which you measure
will in return be measured out to you.”