I’m feeling kinda depressed this evening, despite having had a good day. The blame lies on the task I undertook all day long, sifting through and selecting photos of my colleagues who will be saying goodbye, and selecting the background music to go with the farewell slideshow. I never expected it would take me the whole day to do it, but it did.
And when I got home and plonked down the bed for the night, it suddenly hit me that I forgot to pray the day 9 novena prayer I had started on the first of January. It all the more made me feel blue.
The internet was an alluring distraction, as it usually is. Aside from Facebook, emails, Candy Crush, inspiring videos and readings, I was finally able to resume my job hunting efforts in earnest, updated my resume to fit some requirements, drafted a cover letter and sent out a couple of applications.
It has been years of unsuccessful applications. That, added to the way people treated me at the office, succeeded in making me doubt if I was really capable and worth anything in the work force.
I was deleting some of last year’s email when I came across this reflection:
It is most touching that Mary, in spite of her role in the plan of salvation, regarded herself as a lowly handmaid (in modern parlance: maid, slave). She believed that she was nothing, and had nothing to offer. Yet, in her nothingness, she offered the best gift of all to the Father — the gift of herself, her obedience to His will, her best self. And it was more than enough.
What a wonderful, opportune message! Reassuring me once again that God has a plan for me. And I know it’s just within reach, I only need to hold on with steadfast faith.
Thank you, Lord, for goodbyes and hellos, for the Jollibee dinner treat, for wonderful friends, for a very active, talkative & inquisitive 4 yr. old dancer who’s my cute & cuddly baby to smother with kisses every night when she’s asleep 🙂