I’ve been trying to fight it for close to a month already… and it’s getting really tiring. I know I won’t be defeated, but it needs to be said. I just feel sick and/or tired. Sick of being tired, or tired of being sick, or both, I don’t really know. Have been down in the dumps lately, crying nights in a row, feeling really lost & drained.
I know, one morning the sun will figuratively shine for me. And am I looking forward to that day! Who knows, exhaling it all out here might just be the thing I need to kick the gloom out of my system?
I’m just really sick of being stuck in this seemingly endless rut! Sick of my stagnant career! Sick of not seeming to get over that 5-year-old heartbreak! Sick of being buried in debt! Sick of fighting my way out of that financial mess! Sick of being all alone to fight all these fears! Just plain, old sick of this mountain of negativity!
Believe me I have tried every day to fight this… been reading inspiring stuff… hanging out with my wonderful friends at the occasional opportunities I get… trying to relax, avoid stress… focusing on the positive… that I love my job, as I really do deep down… that I can’t ask for anything more having my beautiful, talented, loving daughter… that I’m truly blessed to have great friends… thankful for the roof over my head, our stocked refrigerator, enjoying the food I can afford… truly blessed to be able to serve…
Aaargh! Pretty soon I’ll get over this rut. And everything will be right in my world once again… soon.
P.S. It’s telling I forgot to include prayer in the list of things I did… I know I need to do more of praying